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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790738">the night we met</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aftokrateira/pseuds/aftokrateira'>aftokrateira</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Conversations, F/M, Female Eren Yeager, Fluff, High School, Prom, Romantic Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:26:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aftokrateira/pseuds/aftokrateira</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They sat there in silence, letting songs go by and watching how their classmates danced and tried to be stealthy while drinking spiked punch and going outside only to comeback with a suspicious smoky smell sticked to their clothes. She didn't know what to say. Without Mikasa or Armin to start a conversation, she wasn't able to find anything to talk about with Reiner.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She scratched her arm once again, looking how the glitter from her dress stuck to her fingers. This had to be the most pathetic thing in the world. She was the only one sitting at the bleachers, looking at all her friends having fun with their dates. She thought that she should've had accepted her step-brother's offer to be her date. No, that would've been super lame. It was better to be alone. Even though she felt kinda sad. And a little angry. It was supposed to be a "come-with-friends" kind of prom, right? At least that was what Armin told her two weeks ago to convince her to go. She only accepted because of that but now her friends were dancing with their dates and she was just there. She didn't had another option. Nobody else asked her to go because everyone thought she was kind of scary and way too intense about everything.</p><p>She was happy for their friends but...she was a little envious too. Erin let out a heavy sigh, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.</p><p>"Are you alone?" somebody asked and she raised her head to see Reiner Braun standing on the bleacher below hers. He seemed surprised to see her.</p><p>"No" she answered, raising an eyebrow, with a sarcastic tone "Can't you see I'm drowning in social interactions? I'm just taking a break from all the attention" Erin wanted to slap herself when she noticed Reiner's confused look. Mikasa's voice resonated inside her head: <em>you don't have to be so aggressive to everyone around you</em>. She sighed again "Sorry. Yes... I'm...alone."</p><p>"I thought you were coming with Mikasa and Armin" he glanced at the dance floor, probably looking for them. She shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah. I <em>did</em> came with them but they have their own business tonight. It's okay. I think it's just what prom does." Erin patted the place next to her, just in case he wanted to sit down. She noticed how he thought about it for a second but then accepted. He sat down and seemed kind of...defeated. "How about you? I thought you were coming with Historia."</p><p>"I was but uhm... She told me that she wasn't feeling well tonight. And since I already rented the tux and the limo and...you know. I decided to come."</p><p>"Wow. That's..." <em>Don't say pathetic. Be nice, don't be a cunt. DON'T. SAY. PATHETIC.</em> "Nice. I mean, might as well make use of all that money, right?"</p><p>He noddedand smiled but it was obvious that he wasn't feeling it. Now they both were stuck there, all alone and dumped by their dates. She felt sorry for him because she knew that Reiner was a nice dude. He just transferred at the beginning of the year along with Bert and Annie. She thought it must've been rough, especially coming from a totally different school that was, actually, the long-life rival from Paradis High. People were not that nice to them the first month, including her. <em>Especially</em> her.</p><p>They sat there in silence, letting songs go by and watching how their classmates danced and tried to be stealthy while drinking spiked punch and going outside only to comeback with a suspicious smoky smell sticked to their clothes. She didn't know what to say. Without Mikasa or Armin to start a conversation, she wasn't able to find anything to talk about with Reiner. She only knew the basics like his name and that he practiced football and that they shared like three clases together but other than that he was a complete mystery. It's not like she tried to know him either. And she only knew about the football thing because she saw him practice at the same time she did.</p><p>"You look really pretty tonight" he said and she thought he was kind of blushing but it sure was because of the lights.</p><p>"Thanks. You too." Erin looked at him and noticed that, in fact, he looked quite nice. He wasn't wearing the suit's jacket, so she was able to appreciate the way the shirt snug tightly his biceps and his whole torso in general. She wasn't very fond of bulky guys but it suited Reiner. He didn't look like a piece of popcorn or like a bunch of lumps sticked together with a tiny head popping out of those. </p><p>Another two songs played while they stayed in silence.</p><p>"So..." he started, playing with his hands. What could he say? This was awkward enough. It was fairly easy talk with everyone at that school (shocking) but she was so... defensive. Like a minefield. He didn't wanted to make her angry but the fact that he didn't know a single thing about her made it even more difficult. There was a thing he did know, though "I haven't seen you at cheer practice."</p><p>Reiner noticed Erin for the first time during a practice. He remembered quite well because she seemed completely involved in the whole thing. He could hear her screams even through the helmet. She jumped and did backflips and all the coreo in such a...violent way that she looked kinda menacing. Like she was saying "you better win this game or else I will destroy you". Some of the guys just laughed about it becase they knew her but he was intrigued and a little bit intimidated to be honest. How someone her size could be so filled with rage and violence?</p><p>"I was kicked out of the team" she answered and she felt that sour taste in her mouth and that burning sensation in her stomach. She was still really salty about that. "Because of 'misconduct'" she rolled her eyes, scratching her arm again, getting more and more annoyed with it "Just to be clear, I didn't do anything wrong, that...Hitch bitch was being really fucking rude and I <em>had</em> to hit her in her ugly-ass shitty-ass grinning face." She frowned and squeezed the glittery fabric between her fingers "I really hope I broke her stupid nose because if not I will personally go hunt her ass and-" she looked at Reiner out of the corner of her eye and his expression was... Well, he was scared. Of course. She sighed, relaxing her hand and her face. "I mean... I'm not serious but she was being mean and calling us names and was also being racist and...Ugh. I couldn't control myself so... Couch kicked me out for the rest of the season and if I want to go back I have to apologize and be at the bottom of the pyramid"</p><p>"That's rough" he mumbled. He wasn't that surprised. "But... if it makes you feel better, I think you were doing the right thing trying to defend your friends. I don't know if I could do what you did, tho, but you had good intentions. Maybe that was not the best way to do it, but I'm sure no one will be messing with the team anytime soon."</p><p>"Oh. Well...Thank you?" she was amused by his words. He was the first person that actually understood her motives. She really was expecting to hear something like 'violence isn't the answer', 'I'm sure you've learned your lesson' or something like that. "What do you mean you wouldn't be able to defend your friends? You're big, strong and you seem like you know what's up. You're a great defender, I've seen you play, you're amazing!"</p><p>"Life's not like a football game, unfortunately " he said, laughing just a little, embarrassed. "At a football game you can follow orders from someone else and you know the rules and your objective. You play in a team and you can rely on them. But you don't have a lot of those thing in real life. No one's there to tell you what to do and if you fuck up you have to live with that forever. There's no training for that and definitely there's no 'next season' " Reiner started to play with his boutonniere, taking it out of the pocket of the jacket. "It can get complicated and confusing and...It's kind of stressing."</p><p>She didn't know what to say, so she just kept quiet. Erin didn't thought that a guy like him could have those kind of thoughts and feelings. To her, he was just another football player, a himbo who would peak in senior year and then just disappear in the shadow of his 'old days'. But now she saw him with another eyes and she felt genuine interest in him. The next song played and she stood up, extending her hand to him.</p><p>"Do you want to dance?" she asked. She did it out of an impulse, just because she didn't know what else she could say to him.</p><p>He half-smiled at her. For a few seconds he thought he vented just a little bit too much with her but her silence and proposal didn't feel awkward. She just listened and that felt good. He took her hand and he let her take him to the dance floor. Under those lights he could see that she was looking even more than pretty. Her dress was almost the exact same color as her eyes. This made them pop along with all of those sparkles... She looked really different. He placed his hands on her waist and she placed hers on his shoulders and they both started to sway side to side to the rhythm of the song. It was a little awkward and stiff but nothing terrible.</p><p>"I know what it feels" she said, suddenly. "To fuck up and having to deal with it yourself" Erin looked at the ground and then at him, briefly. "My life has been like that for a long time and... I'm used to fucking things up, but I'll never get used to the consequences...And even when I know what's going to happen I just..."</p><p>"I get it. It's hard" Reiner smiled at her and it was nice to be able to talk with someone like that. No lectures, no speeches. Just two people venting about their poor problem-solving abilities. "Sometimes it's better not to think about it, right?"</p><p>"Right."</p><p>When the song ended, they both stayed in front of each other getting comfortable in the presence of the other. They were both smiling, feeling some warmth building up inside of the, something unknown and fuzzy. The kind of feeling that made them forget the fact that they were </p><p>"Hey, Erin" Mikasa approached Erin, then looked at Reiner. She was kind of surprise of that mix. "Oh, hi, Reiner" she waved and then turned back to Erin "Do you want to go home? There's an after party and if you don't want to come I can drop you off. It's at Jean's house."</p><p>"Uhm... " she looked at Reiner "I'm fine. I'm having a nice time and Reiner can take me home, right?" he nodded, compliantly.</p><p>"Okay...?" Mikasa gave them a suspicious look but then said her goodbyes "Text me when you get home!"</p><p>"So... you really want to stay here with me?" he asked when Mikasa walked away. Erin smiled at him.</p><p>"Only if you dance with me for the next hour."</p><p>"That I can do."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—I thought you were out of the team —she closed her locker door with a smug smile on her face.</p><p>—Think again, big guy —Erin twirled to show off her cheer uniform. She looked good in it. She looked good in anything. Or that's what he thought since prom —I'm back at it again, ready to cheer your ass off in the field.</p><p>—How did you...?</p><p>—I told coach I wasn't going to apologize for what I did, so I told her that I could spend some time at detention, convince my parents for a little meeting and...—she sighed—I have to stay at the bottom of the pyramid for the rest of the next season —she shrugged —I think it's a good price to pay if you ask me.</p><p>—So you prefer to get your parents mad at you, probably ground you even after detention and literally stepped on to stay on the cheerleading team? —he raised his eyebrows, genuinely surprised. Erin placed her hands on his shoulders.</p><p>—Cheering is everything for me —she said in a very serious tone, looking at him dead in the eye —. It's the only thing that's keeping me from committing a hate crime in this school, so you bet your ass I'll do anything to stay on the team.</p><p>—...Except saying you're sorry to someone you assaulted —she smiled  and then stood on the tip of her toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek when the bell rang before walking towards her first class.</p><p>—See you later, looser!</p><p>***</p><p>—Where are you going? —Annie stood in her place when she noticed Reiner walking on the opposite direction from their usual table at lunch.</p><p>—Oh, I'm... having lunch with Erin today —he answered and she looked at him as if he just insulted her mother —What?</p><p>—You do remember she's been a total bitch to us, right? —Annie rolled her eyes —She fucking hit that other girl in the face-</p><p>—She's not like that anymore.</p><p>—Because you two danced a couple songs at prom? —she asked. Reiner blushed a little bit and Annie sighed —. Whatever, just don't come crying when she rips off your dick because we're not gonna help you. Let's go, Bert.</p><p>Reiner walked off, worried about Annie's words. She didn't speak that much but when she did she made sure that whatever came out of her mouth remained on his brain. He tried to play it cool when he approached the table where Erin sat. He recognized Mikasa and Armin and also a few other faces. Some of them where on the football team with him. When Erin saw him, she raised her hand and he walked towards her, sitting down next to her.</p><p>—Well fuck me gently...—Jean Kirshtein looked at him and then straight to Erin —You can't keep it for yourself, cant you? —she flipped him off and he laughed. Reiner was a little confused about it —. Be careful, Reiner. She bites.</p><p>—Fuck off, horseface —she threw at him her empty juice box before turning to Reiner with a soft smile on her face —. Don't listen to him, he's an asshole, he can't help but talk shit.</p><p>—Uhm...</p><p>—Erin told us about the prom —Armin said with a more friendly smile. Reiner liked him. He was really chill and smart and actually the first guy he saw approaching Annie and having a conversation with her for more than two minutes. Impressive —I'm happy for you guys. You missed nothing at Jean's party... Well, what do you say was the highlight of that party, Mikasa?</p><p>—Sasha breaking the bathroom sink —she answered without a thought. Mikasa was also wearing the cheer uniform and even though it was the same as Erin's, she looked completely different with it —She's done that before, I think there's a video.</p><p>—Sorry —Erin whispered, leaning closer to him —. I know it's not as private but they really wanted to talk about prom and all that... I hope you don't mind sitting with us —she played with one of her beautiful brown locks —. I'm really happy that you're here. I promise we can have a private lunch later, okay?</p><p>—Share it with the rest of the class! —some said and Erin just laughed about it, starting the conversation again with her friends. Reiner wasn't uncomfortable with that but it just... felt so weird. Normally there would be only him and Bert and Annie, talking in silence at their own table. But this was another level. They all laughed and joked and talked like it wasn't a big deal at all. They were all friends. Close friends. He felt something touching his hand under the table and noticed Erin's fingers over his. He blushed but tried to keep it cool, intertwining their fingers. He started to eat in silence, smiling occasionally when someone said a joke. </p><p>***</p><p>—You've got to be joking —Annie stared at him and Reiner just shrugged—You're going to drive her home? Really? What about Bert and I?</p><p>—I'll drive you home too, we live in the same neighborhood —he said, while looking at the school building, waiting for he to come out —. She doesn't live that far, it'll be like ten extra minutes.</p><p>—Unbelievable! —she opened the back door, sitting next to Bert, mumbling profanities. Reiner tried to ignore her as best as he could and had a big smile when Erin ran down to him.</p><p>—Thank you so much for the ride. I hope I'm not an inconvenience...</p><p>—Don't worry about it. </p><p>When she got in the car she looked through the rear-view mirror, directly at Annie and Bert. She immediately noticed Annies cold glare and Bert's awkwardness and placed the friendliest smile she had.</p><p>—It'll be just for today guys, I promise... I'm really sorry.</p><p>—It's okay...—Bert mumbled, smiling shyly, but Annie kept quiet and looked at the window. She took out her earphones and plugged them into her phone. Erin turned back to Reiner, looking at her feet. There was a lot of tension in the air. She knew the didn't liked her and that was fair. Erin remembered of all those times she was mean to them and cringed at her own behavior. She surely looked like an hypocrite right now... She bit her lip but tried to keep it cool.</p><p>—Let's go then.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>is this fucking really turning into a fanfic<br/>how do i even fluff<br/>how do i even one shot<br/>i'm done with myself, i hate teenagers.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—Are you and Erin dating? —Reiner almost had a heart attack. Mikasa remained in her place, unfazed.</p><p>—Jeez, you scared me... —she said nothing, waiting for his answer. She was standing a little bit too close, cornering him against his locker —Why do you ask?</p><p>—I'm curious. Are you two dating? —she asked again. Something about her stare made him feel that Mikasa wasn't just trying to be a gossip. It was like it was a serious matter for her, as if it was vital information that she needed to know. Reiner gulped, closing his locker door, looking around. The halls were getting emptier as the rest of his classmates walked towards the cafeteria. Mikasa stood in place.</p><p>—Uhm... no. No, we're not —he said. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't a whole truth either. He and Erin weren't exactly "just friends" but they weren't dating. At least not in the right sense of the word. The hanged out often after school, they went out a few times. He drove her home quite often after practice, despite Annie's visible discomfort. He liked Erin, she was funny and energetic. She made him laugh and she always held his hand whenever she could. Mikasa raised an eyebrow.</p><p>—I thought you and Historia were dating —she said, folding her arms. He felt his mouth go dry for a few moments —. But now you don't even sit with her in Biology.</p><p>—We never... we never dated, Mikasa, that was a rumor —he said with an awkward smile. He scratched the back of his head. Well he was the one to blame for that mistake. Historia was the most beautiful girl in school. She was nice, gentle and very charismatic. No wonder why she was so popular. Of course he had a little infatuation the moment he saw her and he was sure that he wasn't the only one. That's why he dared to ask her to go with him to prom. He was excited about that and he tried very hard to have something whit her, but thing was that Historia didn't had that kind of interest in him...Or in any guy in school, really —Historia and I are just friends now.</p><p>—I see —Mikasa kept silence for a couple seconds before sighing —. Look, Reiner. I'm going to be honest with you —she paused for a brief moment —. Get away from Erin. I'm telling you this as her friend. Her best friend.</p><p>—What?</p><p>—You don't know her at all —Mikasa's voice sounded serious and severe —. You don't know nothing about her life or her past. You have no idea about why she's the way she is. I do. I've known her since forever and I can tell you that if you too keep this...whatever thing you have, it's not going to end well. Especially for you — Reiner furrowed his brow. Was she being serious? She talked about Erin as if she was a criminal or a psychopath. As if she was dangerous. He knew that Erin was feisty and intense but she wasn't a monster. It wasn't like she was going to kill him.</p><p>—I think I'm not getting this... —Mikasa took a step closer and Reiner stepped back, bumping against the lockers.</p><p>—I'm serious, Reiner —she said —. Get away from Erin.</p><p>Mikasa backed away, giving him a stern look before walking down to the cafeteria, leaving him standing there, slightly scared and very, very confused.</p><p>***</p><p>—Can...I sit with you, guys?</p><p>Annie looked at him as if she was staring at a gigantic piece of shit covered in barf. Bert was confused at first but then he just made space at the table for him to sit down.</p><p>—Are you okay? —he asked, immediately noticing the estranged aura surrounding Reiner. </p><p>—Yeah, I just... I had a weird conversation earlier with Mikasa —he started to play around whit his lunch, still thinking about her words. She seemed so serious about it, so... severe.</p><p>—Shit, did she threatened you for messing around with her precious girlfriend? —Annie said, snorting. Reiner looked at her, confused —Oh my god, don't tell me you haven't noticed... —judging by the look on Reiner's face she raised her eyebrows —Wow. You're even more stupid than I thought —Annie took a bite from her apple —. Mikasa Ackerman is head over heels for your little friend. Come on, I'm sure you've noticed how she follows her around like a little lap dog. She's basically her shadow.</p><p>—You're telling me Mikasa is like... in love with Erin? —Annie rolled her eyes and made a gesture, pointing at the table where Erin normally sat. Reiner looked at them and, at first, he didn't noticed anything weird. They were all laughing and talking like nothing happened... Except for Mikasa. She was sitting right next to Erin, who seemed out of place, looking around. When their eyes met, she looked at him for a few seconds but then just turned her back to him to join the conversation at her table. </p><p>Annie shrugged, returning her attention to her lunch, but she seemed contempt. Reiner didn't like that reaction from Erin and he could notice a hint of betrayal in her eyes a moment before she turned her back to him. Maybe it was better to stay away, even if what Annie said was true or not. He felt a bitter taste in his mouth and decided to ignore it and go about his day as it nothing had happened... only avoiding Erin, of course.</p><p>***</p><p>Back at her house, Erin went straight up to her room and locked herself inside. She didn't want to have dinner with her father nor his brother. She paced around her room, looking at her phone, waiting for a text message that would never arrive. What did she do? Did she messed up? She found weird enough that Reiner didn't want to sit with them at lunch, but directly leave without her after school? He didn't even let her know that he was leaving. When she got out, his car was gone and she had to walk back home.</p><p>She looked in the mirror hanging behind her door, squeezing her brain, trying to look for something that she said or did that could've made Reiner angry. She liked him. She tried to show it. What was wrong with her? What more could be wrong about her that she had to change yet again? Maybe she was too tall. Too aggressive. Maybe she said too many curse words or her legs were weird. She started to notice every single detail in her face and her body. Too hairy, too loud, too dumb. Her eyebrows were uneven. Her teeth were crooked but she wouldn't use her retainer because Jean told her that she looked like a horse. She noticed that she was hyperventilating and tried to calm down, but the only thing that happened was that the rage inside of her started to boil.</p><p>—Erin? —she heard a knock on her door —I'm asking again, are you going to come down to have dinner?</p><p>—I said no —she answered.</p><p>—You can't skip dinner again, we've talked about this.</p><p>—I SAID NO! — she screamed, kicking the door as hard as she could, leaving a dent in the wood along with a very clear footprint.</p><p>—Fine. I'll tell dad —she glared at the door as she heard Zeke's footsteps walk away. She knew what was going to happen after that and she hated it. She hated that she couldn't control herself enough.</p><p>Maybe that's why no one wanted to be around her alone. Because she was a mess. A crazy mess.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't hate on my girl mikasa, she a good friend and you'll get why</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From a very young age, Erin knew that she was filled with rage.</p><p>It was like something inhabited within her, waiting to be awoken at any time. It was heavy and slimy and hot, as if she was suddenly submerged in hot lava, consuming all of her thoughts and rationality. When she was angry, she was capable of anything.</p><p>She would constantly fight over nonsense, just because things weren't going her way. First, the tip of her ears would turn red along with her cheeks. Then, all of her muscles would fill with cortisol and her mouth would taste bitter. Lastly, her eyes would spark with the flame of hatred and despise and, no matter what she did, she's had to let it all out.</p><p>It wasn't always like that. Erin was a cute baby and a decent toddler, nothing out of this world. The rage came along at the same time cancer did. And boy, she hated cancer more than anything in this world. It made her feel useless and weak, as if there was nothing she could do to eradicate it. And she tried, she tried so hard but in the end, it was like she did nothing.</p><p>Erin's mom passed away at the beginning of 6th grade, losing the battle against cancer and leaving her along with her father and her half-brother, both of them incapable of understanding the way her mind worked. They just didn't get her, although they tried.<br/>Her father was a psychiatrist so it was easy for him to diagnose his daughter with depression, ADHD, anxiety and, of course, something called "intermittent explosive disorder". Soon enough, she carried a several amount of pills on her backpack, all of those disguised as fun medicine in colorful packages. It didn't last long because Erin noticed that she felt trapped when she took them. She was always sleepy and absent, as if her head was filled with cotton. She felt like a rag doll. Those pills made her feel like shit.</p><p class="p1">—Take them —there was a glass of water and a small plate with several pills on it. Her father gave her a stern look. He was done with her bullshit and had no time to put up with it —You have to take them.</p><p class="p1">—No —she said, looking at him dead in the eye. His father and her had many things in common. Mainly, the annoyance they both felt towards the other. Grisha didn't like to be around Erin. Much less after Carla died. Erin looked too much like her and she made him feel guilty and useless. He wasn't able to fix her and he hated to be reminded of his own mistakes.</p><p class="p1">—Take your pills, Erin, I'm not going to ask you again —he said, looking at the time on his watch. If this kept going for any more time he would be late for work, again. Because of her. She didn't even move and the way she looked at him was unnerving. A few minutes passed by and he was done. Grisha stood up and walked towards her —Open your mouth. Zeke, hold her arms. Open your mouth.</p><p class="p1">She tried to run away from the table but Zeke was faster and stronger. She felt trapped against the chair and tried to shake her head, but his father was used to deal with difficult people. Stubborn people. It hurt when he squeezed her cheeks to force her to open her mouth and she felt humiliated when the pills were all poured in, along with the water.</p><p class="p1">—Swallow —she struggled to free herself but her father just sighed and, like an animal, he forced her to swallow by pressing her throat in certain spots. Then, he asked her to lift her tongue, to prove that all the pills went down —I don't know why you like to be this difficult, young lady. Don't you know this is all for you well being?</p><p class="p1">Erin felt how tears came down her face. She was filled with anger and rage but couldn't move. She was defeated and humiliated and she was so embarrassed.</p><p class="p1">—Fuck you —she hissed. Grisha shook his head.</p><p class="p1">—Keep an eye on your sister, okay? —he said to Zeke —. I don't mind going through all of this again, so you better think twice before sticking your fingers in your throat, you hear me? —Grisha looked at her for a brief moment —. Make sure she eats something and no locked doors.</p><p class="p1">When her father left, Erin's first thought was to run into the bathroom to induce vomit but her brother knew her too well. He was there, like a shadow, dragging her back to the dining table.</p><p class="p1">—What happened today? —he asked her. She kept quiet, cleaning the tears off her face with the back of her hand —It would be easier if you...</p><p class="p1">—Shut the fuck up —she mumbled —. Don't pretend to be worried about me, you'll do anything to stay on dad's good side. You fucking piece of shit —Zeke sighed.</p><p class="p1">—We are worried about you —he said —. Erin, things can't be like this anymore. You can't just pretend that everything is okay. Look how easy it is for you to crumble —she frowned and looked away —. You assaulted someone. Just because that person said something mean to you. That's not a normal response...</p><p class="p1">—Shut the fuck up.</p><p class="p1">—Erin, our father is just trying to help you out. Do you think I like to see him doing what he did?</p><p class="p1">—Are you really trying to put the blame on me? —Erin raised and eyebrow —I don't need his help, I'm fine. I can let it all out on cheer practice —she murmured —You don't even know what it's like for me. You don't even know me, like, why the hell are you so caring all of a sudden?</p><p class="p1">—I'm not blaming anyone —he said —. I just want you to understand that we're not your enemies. Your mom told us to-</p><p class="p1">—Don't bring her up. You have no right to talk about her —Erin snapped, slamming her hand on the table —. She's not your mother, you don't get to fucking say a word about her.</p><p class="p1">Zeke sighed, just looking at her. He started to think that, no matter the promises he made nor the effort his father out into it, Erin would never change. She didn't want to and there was no hope with people like that. He just pushed towards her the bowl of soup and waited until she ate at least half of it, in complete silence. It always had been hard. Trying to relate to her was hard work.</p><p class="p1">—You can go to your room now. I'll check up on you later —he said but before he could finish she just left, stomping her feet and slamming her bedroom door.</p><p class="p1">It was really fucking hard work.</p><p class="p1">Back in her room, Erin locked the door once again and paced around, feeling disgust and anger and rage and...sadness. She walked up to the window and opened it. Under her window there was a pile of leaves and some messy bushes. She tilted her head and thought about it for a second. Quickly, she grabbed her backpack and emptied it on her bed only to shove in there a bottle of water and a blanket. She changed clothes to a pair of sweats and a hoodie, clothes that she didn't wear anymore because of the memories she had with those. But it was the first thing she had on hand.</p><p class="p1">First, she threw out her backpack, satisfied with the way it landed safely into the pile of leaves. She took a deep breath, made sure that Zeke wasn't walking up the stairs and jumped outside, barely landing on the bushes. She felt a painful sting coming from her right leg but she didn't care at the moment. She struggled to stand up again, grabbed her backpack and started walking as far from her house as she could.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i went full hbo euphoria on this bitch<br/>also where's this bitch going? take a guess<br/>spoiler alert: it ain't therapy</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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